John Mertus

Basically I'm a liberal baby boomer. But I don't hate America; love Bin Laudan or believe all problems can be solved by just tax money. Being a liberal simply means that I believe all people should be treated the same and allowed to play the game of life on a level playing field. It’s also the responsibility of those with more to assure the playing field is level. Ideas similar to those crazies of the past: Jesus, Mohammad and Buddha. I believe science, although not perfect, is our most powerful tool and despise, not the people who believe in Intelligent Design, but the people who lie and trick others to promote the hidden agenda behind ID.

I see no reason to have two cars when one will do, or a 30" plasma TV while my eyesight is good enough to watch the one I have. I often ride my bike to work, own a hybrid car, grow some of my own fruits and vegetables, recycle and donate some time to public service (without even a court order.) I also write, play an aging game of basketball once a week and run, 15 miles a week, when healthy. Currently I am owned by two poodles: Princess and Quincy.

I am an Assistant Professor of Research (that’s a fancy way of saying they don't pay me much and can dump me at any time) in the Cognitive/Linguistic Department at Brown University. I also consult for a private company MTI which does digital film restoration.


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Here is John Mertus getting his financial documents in order for an IRS Audit.. 

Vital Statistics

Claim to fame: Worse speller on the web, even worse writer creative non-fiction (Peddle the Pounds), and humor (Good Times and John Prester).



I received a BS in Mathematics from Carnegie Mellon University with the distinction of one of the few people ever to fail English at that University. I studied Mathematics Logic under Abraham Robinson in graduate school in some university located in downtown New Haven whose name I can never remember. But it had a lot of neat old building and a cool library underground. Couldn't have been very wealthy because when they built another library, they had to use thin sheets of rock instead of windows.

To pay for all of this, I work in the summers hauling frozen mushrooms around Lake Erie; I learned lots of truck repair because these trucks always broke down. I later became an NASE certified automobile mechanic and worked my way through school repairing automobiles. After a year teaching a Bowdin College in Maine, a truly wonderful place, I mistakenly enrolled in a Celestial Mechanics course at Brown University thinking that it would help me repair Saturn automobiles. Before I discovered my error, I had accidentally written a thesis in Applied Mathematics and received a PhD.

"He who dies with the least toys wins."

-Jesus of Nazareth (1-st century Jewish apocalyptic prophet)